There's this guy I've liked for the longest time but he has a girlfriend. I don't want to interfere with their relationship but I can't stop liking him. It's fun to hang out with him but I'm always worried that his girl will ask me to stop hanging out.
"Pat"
Blake: Well we don't know if you are a guy or a girl Pat. So I am going to try and cover all bases. Well with this guy you just got to forget it. Forget him! you need to stop thinking about him romantically and do whatever you have to do to get him out of our head. Put him in the friends only zone. If you can do this honestly with still hanging out Congrats! If you can't do this like the rest of us... then you might want to separate from the friendship and reevaluate it. Is it something you want or you rather have romantically.
But if the girl says "stop being friends" I say cut her. But seriously you need to come at it a bit from her side as well as your own. If you are getting her man drunk to see if he is really gay I could see her being pissed because you are groping her boyfriend. But if you are behaving and just being friends there should be no reason she would want you out unless she is 1) a control freak 2) is jealous of your friendship with her man 3) she doesn't trust her boyfriend. So as long as you can HONESTLY look at your situation and say that you aren't doing anything wrong.
Billy: Talk about gender neutral names. Anyone remember that SNL skit, “It’s Pat?” Seriously! Nah, just kidding. You couldn’t even be bothered to sign your name! C’mon folks, at least give me some obviously-meant-to-be-humorous ones! God!
I guess you still want me to answer your question though. Rain or shine or thundersnow. Ha! Yeah, I rhymed. Get over it. Now then Pat, I’m in a similar situation myself. I just don’t have such an androgynous name. You have two paths ahead of you. Well three, but no one likes option three. You can be the “good friend.” This path involves being entirely supportive of your friend’s relationship, probably in the hopes that the bitch will die a painful death in the near future. And then you’ll be there, to … comfort… your friend.
The second path is the “bitch” one. Instead of waiting for the other woman to die (never refer to yourself as the other woman, it’ll only hinder you by strengthening your conscience), you do it yourself. Just make sure you don’t get caught. Not getting caught is key, because conjugal visit prison sex is awkward. Unless you can get the (hot) guard to join in.
And since you’re so pathetic, I guess I’ll talk about the third path as well. This one has no name. It calls for you to TELL your friend how you feel about him. Explain that you’ve liked him for a long time. If he doesn’t feel the same way, tell him you understand. This one’s a real bitch. You’ll have to man/woman up, and actually tell him everything. Strange, I know.
*vomits* Obviously I’ve had my daily dose of wuv today.
This has been an episode of Billy & Blake: Bitchy and Besty. To submit a question to us please email us at billyandblake@gmail.com (no periods cuz we aren’t those kind of bitches) or at http://www.formspring.me/billyandblake Please write your name or Alias so we can best help you.
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